Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Waving My Hands in Impatience

Patience, they say, is a virtue.  A patient person is certainly more pleasant to be around.  Since Eliana is cute, and nobody could blame her, let's take her as example of impatience.

As a wee one, when Eliana is impatient she waves both arms up and down and voices her protest.  It is like she is flying, and the longer she desires something like food or a toy and doesn't get it, the more violent the flapping of her hands like wings.  When carrying her to someplace she wants to go, she'll all but jump out of your arms as though you couldn't possibly be walking fast enough.  Little does she realize that if you put her down she doesn't really get there at all and she becomes even more upset.

August was a rather impatient month for us.  I (Kevin) felt much like Eliana feels when she is impatient.  While praying I'd all but wave my hands, trying to fly into ministry and fly to Spain.  I'd even protest some.  Then, whenever I felt God carrying us a bit closer (as indeed he has been doing) I was flapping my arms and trying to jump even further ahead.

Sometimes when Eliana gets too impatient, we will let her have her tantrum on the ground.  She has trouble regulating emotion as is her age (and apparently it is still difficult to regulate impatience as an adult), so we let her cry it out for a bit and begin again.  August was that way with God.  Momentum slowed considerably in our efforts to get to Spain.  And it was a little frustrating.  So God let me have my prayer tantrum.

I'm happy to be able to take it to God in prayer and that he'll listen.   I love Eliana deeply and he loves me even more than I can love Eliana.  When I can calm a bit or at least really turn back, then he picks me up again and keeps going (and I'm still flapping my wings as violently as possible.)

August was a month of retooling, of understanding and of letting God provide the work.  No matter how much arm-flapping Leah or I did, (or Eliana for that matter), we had to be patient.  And patience truly is a virtue.  It will be a lesson that we will continue to learn, I'm sure, but one that will carry us much further in our ministry than if we just flapped our wings and got whatever we want when we want.

So August was a tougher month for us (in terms of getting to Spain).  September, however, is turning out to have a great deal of momentum, and a great deal of travel.  I am thankful that God has not let me had my spiritual tantrum for too long and is again carrying us forward.

No comments: